PWHL
Toronto Sceptres netminder CJ (Carly) Jackson is one of the league’s most beloved players. Here, Jackson discusses inclusivity, women’s sports, and their chase for the Walter Cup with the Toronto Sceptres.
Photo @ PWHL – Carly Jackson on Inclusivity, Women’s Sports, and Chasing the Walter Cup
CJ Jackson is one of the PWHL’s most beloved players. Here’s a conversation between Jackson and The Hockey News’ Cee Benwell discussing inclusivity, women’s sports, and the chase for a Walter Cup with the Toronto Sceptres
Carly, you mean so much to fans on so many different levels – a goalie is just one part of it, but you hold – for a lot of fans and viewers – a very special place with representation and inclusivity. Can you tell us a little bit about that?
First of all, thank you. I take a lot of pride in being a great hockey player and being a goaltender for Toronto. But I think being a hockey player is much more than just being a competitor and an athlete. We’re so much more than that. And I think in sport, a lot of times it’s not really talked about much.
But in my eyes, I think athletics and competing is a way of self-expression, right? It’s no different than art and creation, and it’s a place of creativity and competitive nature. And I always said that if someone were to watch me practice, play, work out, whatever, it would be a direct reflection of my character.
So I really feel that athletics and now being part of the PWHL and on the stage that we are, it’s so much more than just competing, although that is a massive part of it. But there’s so much more beyond that that we can play a role in and have an impact. And so I’ve been really grateful this past season to be part of the PWHL and to gain a much bigger voice and a much bigger audience. And it’s been just an experience of gratitude to connect with so many people this year. And being a third goaltender, I really had a strong access to that because typically I’m quite accessible to fans during games. So I get to connect with a lot of different people who love the game and play different roles, and whether that’s a staff member, a fan, or a season ticket holder. There are many, many season ticket holders in Toronto who I would get to chat with at nearly every home game, and you’re building these relationships and I think that’s just so special and that’s really the point of sport, is to bring people together and to create a sense of belonging and a place of competition and a love for a game that unites us.
I feel really grateful to have –and I’ve always felt strongly about– living an authentic life and being true to who I am and finding power in who you are. It’s really important, really special, and getting to do it on this stage that the PWHL has built has been just a full experience of gratitude for me.
It’s appreciated that everyone is welcome to express themselves in all those different ways. Is there anything particularly with marginalized populations, young , old, everyone is able to show up and feel comfortable speaking to you.
Definitely. I think that’s one of the really special things about women’s sports right now across the board with – the first ones that come to mind are the PWHL, the WNBA, the NWSL – and the environment that is created at our games. And it’s one of belonging and people feel so welcome and there’s the energy in the building that is completely undeniable. People feel like they belong, and that’s just so powerful. The thing that I find very interesting is that we have a lot of long-time die-hard women’s hockey fans, but we also have this entire new population that we’re accessing of people who have never seen hockey before. This is their first experience with hockey, or maybe their first experience with sport, and they don’t have any –– or I hope, or at least the general consensus that I get from people that I talk to –– is there’s no fear there. It can be very intimidating going into a new space, but from what I understand, a lot of people feel a sense of belonging, even if they haven’t had any experience in the space. I think that is really special because we’re creating such an incredible community, and I think it’s really felt in the games because there’s a very competitive nature between die-hard fans that are like, my team is from Ottawa or my team is Boston, whatever it is.
But at the end of the day, everyone is like, ‘man, this is so cool,’ and I hope everyone’s having a good time–the fans, the staff, the players. It’s a really special thing and it’s shaping and changing the way that sports are experienced by people. And I think that’s really special because I think it’s becoming better.
You’ve said that hockey has been a safe space for you. When you go in the hockey rink and you’re just yourself and you’re enjoying something and you’re having relationships, it’s very special.
Hockey has really been a place of safety for my personality and for my personal growth and my sense of self. I think hockey has been kind of the conduit of self-love, really, and feeling a lot of power in who I am. And there were times in my personal life where I really struggled, but hockey has always been the consistent thing that has brought me back to my sense of self. And it’s probably the place where I feel most like myself at any time in my life. I think to be able to create that space –– not only for the athletes but also for fans and people who are involved in our game –– I think that’s the point of athletics: to create communities like that. So it’s pretty exciting to be part of this league, and I think that’s just so important for our society and for our well-being as people. And it’s something that’s been really important to me in my own personal growth, so if we can create that kind of space for somebody else, then I think that’s a huge success.
The trio of goalies last year in Toronto was so special, and it’s changing this year. Obviously, Kristen Campbell is still there. But now you’re going to welcome Raygan Kirk, who is familiar to Kristen from the Manitoba connection. Are you familiar with her and what are you looking forward to?
Yeah, the first thing is, of course I’m really going to miss Erica Howe. She was such a pillar of establishing our goalie culture and our team culture. And honestly, she feels like my brother and I just love her so much. And she’s going to be so missed, but I feel a lot of pride for her as well. That’s the first thing I think of, and then the next thing is that from everything that I’ve heard and any experience that I’ve had with Kirkie has been that she is going to be the perfect person to come in and join our goalie trio. I hear nothing but great things about her character, about her work ethic, about her skills as a goaltender.
I’m really stoked to learn from her and to have her as part of our goalie trio and, of course, it’s good to be coming back. It’s really nice to keep building on that bond that we’ve already started, but I’m really excited for this season. I think that this is going to be something special and it’s going to be a lot of fun. It’s always really intriguing for me to learn from people that I have never seen before, and I’ve watched a few of Kirkie’s games just from being active in college hockey and keeping up with some of the games, but to see and train with someone every day with a whole other story. So I’m really looking forward to it. I know that she’s just got outstanding character and incredible work ethic and is very skilled, so that’s always exciting as an athlete when you get to work with somebody like that.
You’re kind of a Toronto icon. It’s not your hometown, but it’s your sports hometown. What does Toronto mean to you? And how have you evolved to become a Torontonian and feel that is your hometown?
I grew up on the east coast and it’s very much a different way of life for sure. I love the east coast; I come home every summer, but I love living in Toronto. My first taste of the city was, one, I was really happy to be back in Canada playing professional hockey. But one of the coolest things is that when I was playing for the Toronto Six, I was living with a billet family. So that meant that I lived in a house with a family, with two moms and two kids, their teenage boys. And I lived in basically a bachelor apartment in their basement. And then we shared the kitchen, and for that whole hockey season, I lived with them, and we really became family. They came to all of my games. I went to a bunch of the boys’ games, and we had dinner together most nights, and they really looked out for me. This past season when I was playing for Toronto, I didn’t live with them because it was a bit far from the rink, so I lived with my teammate Brittany Howard. But I continued to go over every Sunday for dinner, and we built that relationship again throughout this past season. They came to every game, and this past year, I wasn’t able to go home for Christmas, and they invited me over for Christmas, and for Easter, and all these different holidays. So they’ve really became my family away from home, and that is kind of my experience with Toronto.
It was established with my billet family, but it’s only grown beyond that. I feel that way with my friends, with my teammates, and with some of the friends and fans I’ve met throughout the past couple of years. I remember when the PHF had folded, I knew that the chances of me ending up in Toronto were very slim because there were six new teams and I could end up anywhere. I really mourned my life in Toronto because I thought that chances are, I wasn’t going to end up back here. So when I got to try out in Toronto, I remember actually crying tears of happiness because I had an opportunity to come back and be in the space that I felt so connected to. And now, having another year under my belt of being in the city is super important to me, and I feel like it’s exactly where I want to be. I love being part of the city. There’s so much energy, so much buzz, and it just really feels like it’s where I’m meant to be.
And so, unfinished business for Toronto—it was a stinging kind of ending for the team. But what are you looking forward to coming into this season?
Yeah, the season ending early for us, it, felt like almost a shock to the system because we had full faith that we would make it to the final, and unfortunately, we didn’t. And that’s how sports go, right? You’re playing against the best of the best, and it was a really exciting semifinal series. Unfortunately, we did fall short, and that was pretty heartbreaking for us. I think it really puts a chip on our shoulder for next year. It was very cool seeing us win all of these awards in the post-season and I think our organization and the players, and all of us feel very proud of that. But the ultimate goal is a championship, so I really think that going into next year, we feel that extra energy, we feel that extra chip—of, okay, we didn’t get the ultimate goal and what are we needing to do to make that extra step to get that championship? And I think that’s a really fun place to be because we have such faith, we have such belief in the ability of our team, and the people that are involved and the people that are behind us. That is just super exciting. One thing across the board, between the players, and the staff, a common sense of our culture is that we’ve established a really powerful one, and that is really exciting to build on. We’re very proud of who we are. I think we’re proud of what we stand for. We’re proud of how we play hockey. That’s really fun to be a part of.
When I’ve heard from Gina and Troy and the leadership group, including yourself, it feels like everyone’s pulling in the same direction. Is that what it feels like behind the scenes? No controversy, just good vibes?
No, it really does. We feel powerful, and you can feel it in the rink every day. You can feel the passion, the love, the dedication, and the drive to win the championship. I love being part of this club. I just think we do so much with integrity, and I think that’s one of the cornerstones of winning a championship. I’m really excited to see our performance this year, to see how we compete every game, every day in practice, and to see what we can build on.
I really, truly think we’re building something quite special. I love how we do things, and that is incredibly important. We’re chasing that Walter Cup, we want it really badly just like everybody else. We’ve got that chip on our shoulder, and I’m really excited to see what we pull together.
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A big part of Carly’s summer was taking part in a film called “Pink Light,” a short film by Harrison Browne, the first out transgender professional hockey player. The film is a profile of Scott, a transman and ex-pro hockey player, who is needlessly injured during a beer league game. He experiences a flashback to his pre-transitioned self in college. The film continues to follow Scott at two moments in his life: as a 20-year-old, pre-transitioned and navigating college, and a 30-year-old trying to reconnect with the sport he gave up to physically transition. Carly plays “young Scotty,” and says:
“We are super excited for the project. I’m really excited about the storytelling. It was so fun for me, and I just can’t wait to see it finally be produced and for people to see it. It’s a really amazing story.”
